ilegallyblonde1 (ilegallyblonde1) wrote in gay_me_up,

i dont kno how to tell her i dont want to be with her HELP!!

Leftfielder09: Hey beautiful

Auto response from Mistakes Made Me: "trying" to sleep,call the house is you need me. I wanna color on my<33 me! Imma dork :-P *863*452*6629

Leftfielder09: I kno ur tryin to sleep but I jus wanna say hey n let ya kno ur on my mind. I'm really worried about u. I wish u wouldn't do some of the things u do. U might not think it but there really are people who care about u and I'm one of them and the last thing I ever want is for somethin to happen to u....u couldn't even look me in my eyes n promise me n that really scares me. I'm not goin to tell n-e-1 about it but u have to stop. n-e time u feel like doin that then just call me or somethin. plzzzz. ok well ill let ya sleep. i was gonna beep u cuz i have a little free time but ill be nice n let u take ur nap. cant wait to see ur beautiful smiling face tomorrow!! hugs n kisses!!!!! n n case we dont talk tonight then sweet dreams....

Auto response from Mistakes Made Me: "trying" to sleep,call the house is you need me. I wanna color on my<33 me! Imma dork :-P *863*452*6629

Mistakes Made Me: hey
Leftfielder09: well hey there sleeping beauty
Mistakes Made Me: i wasnt sleeping i havent slept yet i went and bought play-doh,markers,coloring books and calk
Mistakes Made Me: *chalk
Leftfielder09: gimmie about 2 minutes...i have to put in a load of laundry really quick
Leftfielder09: brb sweets
Mistakes Made Me: lol ok
Leftfielder09: k im back
Mistakes Made Me: ohh and i bought a stuffed animal and it is funny looking and i love it! and i made a play-doh heart and put a hole in it and im going to wear it
Leftfielder09: lol....i just cant help but love u...lmao
Mistakes Made Me: lol yeah immma
Mistakes Made Me: ohh and i wanted to be cool like the little 5th graders and i bought pencils with my name on them
Leftfielder09: quick question...does it bother u when i call u beautiful n stuff like that? if it does ill stop. jus lemme kno
Mistakes Made Me: nope doesnt id tell you if it did
Leftfielder09: alrighty!
Leftfielder09: hey so have u talked to josh? o yea i wrote on ur name tag too
Mistakes Made Me: lol...yeahb i talked to him for like an hour
Leftfielder09: and wut's the verdict?
Leftfielder09: n other words wut did ya'll decide to
Mistakes Made Me: umm...i dont kno is being weird and nice and uhhh.. he is "calling" me back later after he goes to church
Leftfielder09: why dont u go to church with me tonight???
Leftfielder09: we go to arby's afterwards too
Mistakes Made Me: i dont do church im non-religious...sorryzzz
Leftfielder09: uh huh
Leftfielder09: no biggie
Mistakes Made Me: sorry im just not a church kinda person.
Leftfielder09: its ok sweetie. i said no
Mistakes Made Me: ilright, my stuffed animal is awesome!
Leftfielder09: How do you cope when
The one you like is with somebdoy else
And there's nothing you could do about it

Leftfielder09: had to change a word from them
Mistakes Made Me: is that a question you want me to answer?
Leftfielder09: lol...its a song. it describes how i fell right now
Leftfielder09: feel*
Mistakes Made Me: ohh ok.. yeah see you have to say these things caz im tierd and sooo out of it
Leftfielder09: yea, it's jus one of my many ways of tellin u how i feel
Mistakes Made Me: ohhh ok yeah see im really bad with feelings and expressing mine soo your going to have to give me time at that
Leftfielder09: its ok. we're not dating....yet. so i dont expect it outta u too. i jus cant help but tell u....
Mistakes Made Me: yeah see im also really bad and umm replying to other peoples feeling but i do listen and im not avioding your comments im just taking them in and not expressing my feelings
Leftfielder09: yea so ive noticed
Leftfielder09: i just dont kno if i should assume u feel the same way or u dont
Leftfielder09: thats the only thing thats hard for me
Mistakes Made Me: umm...feelings umm...mine are kinda mixted but the same but yeah there just feelings
Leftfielder09: see thats where ur wrong. their not JUST feelings. how u feel about someone is a big deal. especially if u want to be with them
Mistakes Made Me: yeah see im really bad at this whole talking about my feels thing
Leftfielder09: yea i kno but im hopin i can break u of that habit
Leftfielder09: i hate not knowin wut ur feeling
Leftfielder09: if u tell people how u feel then things like wut u did to ur wrist can be prevented
Leftfielder09: and i can say that in complete confidence because i used to be a cutter but i learned other ways to deal with the stress
Mistakes Made Me: yeah see ive learn that cutting is better then what stuff i use to do
Leftfielder09: cutting is never a good thing....
Mistakes Made Me: i use to pop pills and drink alot like me and my best friend colin use to get drunk EVERYDAY before school and i use to get high everyday and i was really bad!
Leftfielder09: i wish with my whole heart that you would stop completely.
Leftfielder09: u scare me sometimes. i mean we're not even together but im already scared of losing u because i see the things u do and i know ur better than that
Mistakes Made Me: yeah..but im better then i was last year, and im still trying to do better
Leftfielder09: well im goin to help u. really. i dont think u understand the severity of this. i was locked up for a month n a half for this shit and i dont want to see that happen to you
Mistakes Made Me: i umm, yeah i still think it is better then the why a use to be.
Leftfielder09: I really want you sweetie
I need you in my life
I got to have you honey
I want to spend some time
Girl I want you like crazy
Your sweeter than candy
Your fine like wine
Girl you're one of a kind
So fine, I think about you all the time
You're always on my mind
Just another song
Mistakes Made Me: chalk is messy...umm hummm...
Leftfielder09: mmm changin teh subject...nice christina...nice
Mistakes Made Me: lol
Leftfielder09: well guess wut? one of the classes i intern for is right behind ur right thru that slidin door
Leftfielder09: swingin*
Mistakes Made Me: cool!
Leftfielder09: i didnt kno that wheni signed up for her tho
Leftfielder09: i havent decided if i wanna intern for her 3rd or 4th tho
Mistakes Made Me: ohh ok, cool. who is it?
Leftfielder09: ms. hickman
Mistakes Made Me: ahhhh.
Leftfielder09: she's really pretty
Leftfielder09: lol
Leftfielder09: can i ask u a question?
Mistakes Made Me: yes'm shoot
Leftfielder09: even tho we're not dating, do u think i treat u better than josh does?
Mistakes Made Me: wow,ummm...josh is such a COMPLICATED topic.. yeah but,ive been in love with josh for 2 and a half years and he was my everything back then and when a bunch of shit happened with cynthia and me and josh last year is when i started drinking and smoking pot and cutting and yeah..but you do treat me bettter
Leftfielder09: do u think if u werent dating him then ur decision on if u wanna be with me or not would be a lot easier?
Mistakes Made Me: yeah!
Leftfielder09: damn josh to hell!!! lol
Mistakes Made Me: lol. yeah ive been saying that for the past 2 1/2 years
Leftfielder09: then why r u still with him!!! grrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mistakes Made Me: i dont kno, i love him when im talking to him or with him but i hate him when im with out him. if that makes any sence
Leftfielder09: no, actually it doesnt, sorta seems liek u shouldnt be together, and im not jus sayin that cuz i wanna b with u
Mistakes Made Me: yeah, i do well when were not together. and i dont do well when we are together he is like ummm.. that cookie you want but it is still hot and everytime you get to close it burns you.
Mistakes Made Me: *bad
Leftfielder09: it just doesnt make sense to me christina. why dont u just want to be with someone you KNOW you'll be happy with instead of playing this on going games with him??
Leftfielder09: these*
Mistakes Made Me: when we dated before i broke up with him twice and it was because i was scared to love someone that much. and ive wanted him back ever since and now that i got a second chance i dont want to lose him caz when were not together it like there is something missing.
Leftfielder09: i dont know. but i wish u would figure it out. really. ok well i g2g cuz jacob is here but i might get on mobile so if u see me get on then jus message me
Mistakes Made Me: ilright
Leftfielder09: i jus wanna say one thing. u KNOW that if u were with me then u would have unconditional care and that wouldnt change. u wouldnt have to play these freakin games. thats all i gotta say. ill ttyl n if not then ill c ya n the mornin
Mistakes Made Me: ilright byez
Leftfielder09 signed off at 6:37:19 PM.
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic